words in movies
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!