words in movies
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Ursula: You have not changed!
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Who is it?
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Eric: Ursula?
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.