words in movies
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Rachel: Oh good God! Ive fallen down! (She trips and falls.)
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Rachel: Good! Cause Ive got a product report to read, its like eight pages, I hope I dont fall asleep.
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Chandler: Im gonna do it tomorrow yknow, and-and surprise her, but now youve ruined it!
Rachel: Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, youve waited long enough!!
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Phoebe: No thanks, Ive already seen one.
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
Chandler: I can do that, Ive had 30 years of practice.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Joey: Well, Ive been better. But, Im all right. So you like her huh?
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
Emily: Ive uh, Ive come to talk to Ross.
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Chandler: Okay. Now all weve got to do is get rid of this chair.
Kate: Ive got no reason to stay.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, weve been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
Ross: (in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.
Alice: Were gonna have a big family, Ive always wanted a big family!
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Joey: So youve been sittin around here all mornin?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Emily: Weve only known each other for six weeks!
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
The Fan: Oh yeah! Ive seen all her movies.
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Joey: You know what you shouldve done, you should have told yourself that little story.
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Erin: Ohh, listen. Ive got to get going. Today was great, thanks!
Monica: Oh Will. But you-youve worked so hard
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Ross: But having a dove place the ring on your finger wouldve been no problem?
Eric: Oh right, youve got a church group meeting tonight.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Joey: Yeah! But if wouldve know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldnt have worried about it so much! See you around!
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never done that with you before.
Rachel: Yeah! Ive been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
Monica: All right relax Mr. Ive Had Sex Four Times!
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Ross: Oh, just this woman I�ve been seeing.
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?