words in movies
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: No.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Waiter: Champagne?
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.