words in movies
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
(The waiter leaves.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Waiter: Ooh...
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Waiter: What?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: No.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
The Waiter: Okay.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Hey!
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Customer: Hey, waiter.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Waiter: Champagne?
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Estrangement (?).