words in movies
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]
Housekeeper: The Waltham Residence.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and its not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Emily: Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham.
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Mrs. Waltham: (Looking evilly at her husband) Sorry, what?
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Mrs. Waltham: Where?
Mr. Waltham: Well theres one (pointing towards Jack) and theres another (pointing towards Judy).
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Mr. Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!
Mr. Waltham: Dont take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Ross and Shrugs.)
Mrs. Waltham: Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Mrs. Waltham: Who is this?
Mrs. Waltham: Well, if youre on e of Rosss best friends, why arent you here?
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Mrs. Waltham: No, Im bored with you now. Im going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Mr. Waltham: (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Mrs. Waltham: (Answering the phone.) Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Mrs. Waltham: (Throws her head back in disgust.) Why?!
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Mr. Waltham: Shes in hiding. Shes utterly humiliated. She doesnt want to see you ever again.
Mr. Waltham: Will you call him?
Mr. Waltham: Good morning.
Mr. Waltham: Oh, good.
Mr. Waltham: Ohh! Yes of course, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much.
Monica: Emily Waltham.
Mr. Waltham: No.
Mrs. Waltham: Who?
Mrs. Waltham: Yes, Waltham interiors.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Mr. Waltham: Weve come for her things.
Mrs. Waltham: (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.
The Saleslady: Ms. Waltham?
Mr. Waltham: (walking by) Yes.
Mr. Waltham: For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus.
Mr. Waltham: Goodbye Geller.
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
Mr. Waltham: (entering) Rachel! Could I have a moment?
Mr. Waltham: Excuse me, Im standing right here!
Mrs. Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.
(Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her.)
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, you needed to speak to me?
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Mr. Waltham: All right, Ill tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Mrs. Waltham: Were very sad that it didnt work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think youre absolutely delicious.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Mr. Waltham: In a moment, please, Im in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, shes not with us.
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?