words in movies
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
CHANDLER: Hey, what did your agent say?
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
MONICA: What, forget it!
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
RACHEL: Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
PHOEBE: I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
MONICA: What are you talking about? What wedding?
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
PHOEBE: What does she mean by HH?
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
RACHEL: What?!
BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
CHANDLER: What?
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
ALL: What?!
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
RACHEL: What.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
MONICA: You'll do what?
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
MONICA: I know you do. Me too. (pause) So what now?
PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Joey: What do you have against the duck?! He doesnt make any noise!
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Aurora: No, that's not exactly what I was..
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Phoebe: Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
Chandler: What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Ross: Yknow what? Youre just upset because youre losing.
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Fireman No. 2: A piece of something: boxer shorts, greeting cards, and what looks like a half-charred pictureWow, that guy's hairier than the Chief!
Ross: What? I cant cancel on Joan!
Chandler: Whats wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? (Everyone stares at him.) On a barbecue chicken pizza? (Still theres staring.) No?
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Monica: Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking?
PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Joey: (clearly shocked) What?
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats with the tackling?
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Ross: Just stuff. Y'know kinda what Emily wants.
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
Rachel: What? Wh-hey!
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Bonnie: Y'know what, I should do it.
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her?
Phoebe: All right, Ive never been engaged and Ive never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Joey: Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?
Joey: Sure! Whats up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey reluctantly gives him a spoonful.)
Joey: (getting an idea) Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is?
Chandler: What?! (Cookie punches him)
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?
Monica: Huh. Whats doofus spelled backwards?
Ross: Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force".
Ross: I know! I know. You know what? Im putting Ruth back on the table!
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
Joey: (holding a plate of what looks like Rice Crispies Treats) I know, here-here!! (Hands her the plate.)
(Gunther walks away, leaving Rachel with a `What just happened?' look on her face.)
Chandler: (Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps (he goes in the bedroom)
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
PHOE: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, cause when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.
Ross: Yeah. Tell ya what, lets not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur dudes!
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
Cop: I don't like looking foolish. Y'know what? Maybe uh, I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Chandler: (disgusted) What? What can't you do?
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!