words in movies
MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
ROSS: Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
JOEY: Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us?
MRS GREEN: So, what do you think of my daughter in the apron with the big job?
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
RACHEL: She's still with you?
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
(Rachel backs out with a confused look on her face.)
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
BIG BULLY: What's with this guy?
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Monica: Youre plans were with us.
Rachel: (with high pitched voice) Nobody, forget it!
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
Phoebe: So you guysll stay here and hang out with me?
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Written by: Marta Kaufmann & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig With Help From: Rachel Stigge
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Joey: Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note!
Joey: Im doing my scenes with you?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Joey: Youre really thinking about having sex with your brother?!
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
(Suddenly Ross jumps in and starts dancing with her.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Joey: Huh. But still Ross, youre worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Yknow what I mean?
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Joey: And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.
Ross: Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
Kim: Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
(Rachel arrives with a lot of clothes)
Rachel: Oh, its so easy for you I mean, youre not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!
Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Joey: Well so, how come you blew me off? Y'know? How come you were with him?
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Rachel: (surprised) What? (with a nervous smile) Really?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
MONICA: Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)