words in movies
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I dont know where his country is.
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Mischa: Hes says, Walking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, Ive got, Ive just have so much to deal with.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Chandler: She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Mischa: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
ROSS: With mealworms.
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Rachel: Im having dinner with my dad tomorrow night, do you wanna come?
Monica: Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say that I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I mean it just wouldnt be myour-our night, if you all werent here to celebrate with meusDamnit!
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Ross: (walking up with this huge tub-o-popcorn and drink) Hey!
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
(Mike enters with a roll of paper in his hand.)
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge.
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Amanda: I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month.
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Gate attendant #1: (with a French accent) Madame, your passport please?
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
[Scene: Sarahs bedroom, her room is decorated with a space motif.]
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: ...With MonkeyShine Beer. [MonkeyShine theme] MonkeyShine Beer, 'cause it's a jungle out there.]
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
[Scene: A Gym, Pete is training for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with his trainer, Hoshi.]
Robin: I have a feelin... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist.
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
[Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
ESTELLE: Things change, roll with em.
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Rachel: Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
Rachel: Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Janine: I cant handle two nights in a row with them.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Monica is entering with a mug.]
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never done that with you before.
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Monica: How did it go with Frank and Alice?
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
ROSS: Don't toy with me.
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.