words in movies
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
Megan: We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
Phoebe: Ooh, is that spelled with a C or a K? Oh my God! It doesnt matter; theyre both great!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is getting ready for his date with Kristen.]
Joey: Yknow what Ross? Im not gonna let you get away with this!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Ross: I don't! I wanna be with her.
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
[A monkey jumps on the desk and hands the guy a beer. He opens the beer and is suddenly on the beach, in a hammock, with beautiful women all around.]
Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. (Ross starts to take off his pants) What are you doing?
Monica: What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind of way.
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Passenger #2: What's wrong with the plane?
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
C.H.E.E.S.E.: (Wayne with a computerized voice) Nice to meet you Mac!
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
(from 1.18 - "The One With All the Poker")
Joey: Look at you, all sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel... with Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around ya. (he picks up Hugsy) It's okay, Emma, you stay asleep. (Emma cries)
Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
[Scene: Days Of Our Lives set, Joey is doing a scene with a co-star as Rachel watches on a monitor.]
Joey: Well, I know what's the matter with me.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Phoebe: Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?!
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts running crazily with her arms flapping and her legs far apart) Come on! That's not running! Let's go! (Rachel pauses, then follows, embarrassed.)
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
Rachel: Howhow did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! (She hits Chandler again.)
Rachel: Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me.
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Phoebe: (returning with Joey) With what?
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
(Ursula's eyes dance as she laughs and smiles, simply glad to be back with her sister.)
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves!
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
CHANDLER: If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Rachel: She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it?
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Teleplay by: Mark Kunerth Story by: Peter Tibbals Transcribed by: Cassie With Help From: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.