words in movies
Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
RACHEL: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
(A woman on TV breaths hard)
Monica: There was just one woman, wasnt there?
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Woman: (looking through her peephole, we see Ross standing in the hallway.) Yesss?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Woman: (sarcastically) Huh, good luck!
Bitter woman: Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period.
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
(Another woman enters without a coat or blazer and tries to sit at the blue table.)
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
Woman No. 2: Wow! What an unusual cat!
Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!
Woman: Im very interested to find out whos been doing her taxes these last four years.
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
The Smoking Woman: Who are you talking too?
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Monica: So she's a woman! So what?
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Ross: Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. (Starts to leave.)
Woman: Oh my God, I can't believe you're here!
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Rachel: And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: (grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman!
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Woman: Let go!
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then
Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)