words in movies
(Another woman enters without a coat or blazer and tries to sit at the blue table.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: Maybe, isnt she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
The Smoking Woman: Who are you talking too?
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Monica: So she's a woman! So what?
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Ross: Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. (Starts to leave.)
Woman: Oh my God, I can't believe you're here!
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Rachel: And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
Phoebe: (grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman!
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Woman: Let go!
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
Woman: Comin' through. Move, move.
Monica: Let go! Im a tiny little woman!!
Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Oh, just this woman I�ve been seeing.
Woman: Chandler.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Bitsy: The woman you what? (Phoebe overheard what Michael said and now enters the room)
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)