words in movies
Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Sarah: Thank you so much!
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Monica: At least you took me down with you!
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
David: (after a while) How do you think I should propose?
Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright!
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Charlie: I will if you will.
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside?
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side)
MOnica: Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight.
Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Monica: Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer?
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do?
Ross: Why, why would you open it?
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...!
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Ross: Well, what do you do?
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?
Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away)
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Thank you.
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Charlie: So, why did you break up?
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
Rachel: No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Ross: Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much.
Rachel: Ok. See you, bye.
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well?
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
Mike: We can have any future you want.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now?
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully).
Ross: Oh, thank you so much!
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
Charlie: You were incredible!
Charlie: You blew them away!
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room!
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying!
Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...?
Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are!
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night...
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Chandler: I'm not playing with you.
Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing!
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Monica: How much were you thinking?
Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter?
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about?
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
Rachel: You know? Forget it!
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
Joey: You like me? (shuts the door)
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'???
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE (see link)! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat!
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Joey: NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal!
Mike: Do you?
Mike: Do you?
Mike: DO YOU?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty!
Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute?
Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok?
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now!
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
Chandler: You ok?
Mike: So you forfeit?
Chandler: No, you didn't.
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Monica: But... you suck!
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was!
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Charlie: I think you know.
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Chandler: You forbid me?
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Mark: Clever. (back to Rachel) So how are you?
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Ross: Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Ross: Hey, I'm more cop than you two!
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Ross: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Monica: I didnt think you could keep it a secret.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel: You didnt break up with that fireman?
Ross: How much did you pay for that?
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Rachel: Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones.
The Interviewer: Now, off the record, youre not
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go?
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Parker: So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy?
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldnt be supportive!
Chandler: No, it's... fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don't you just go see a
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.
Hooker: Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. (Does the close sign.)
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Monica: Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble.
Ross: You broke the pact!
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Hillary: (Laughing) You make me laugh.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Ross: (cutting her off) Youre alone.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Tall Guy: Look, are you dating this girl you came with?
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Monica: No sweetie, youve got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! Youve got to kiss some serious robot ass!
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
ROSS: Could you be less enthused?
Tag: Thank you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Rachel: Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!