words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along?
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Ross: Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote...
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Chandler: Hey, where you been?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Nina: Are you okay?
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Jamie: So, so youre here too?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Chandler: Im just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet?
Joey: You meant sex, right?
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Monica: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Phoebe: Bread, so you never go hungry.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Rachel: Since when, since when do you think I dont wear enough of this?
Chandler: Well then maybe you shouldn't go.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister Ill let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
Ross: Thank you so much for coming back over.
Chandler: Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Joey: Well, have-have you told him how you feel?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Chandler: Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.
Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her?
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
(We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Ross: (after he's left) Okay, seriously, what do you think?
Joey: Anything I can do? Whatever you need.
Chandler: Hello sir, you know Monica.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
CHANDLER: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Joey: Youre right. (Mouths, "I know youll show me, right?)
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Joey: (returning) Hey! You wanna go?
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Monica: You mean the guy who kept calling you Ron?
Erica: No! (To Monica) You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing.
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Rachel: OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Chandler: No, really youre gonna freeze.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Monica: (To Monica) Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
Gary: I want you to move in with me.
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
RACHEL: OK, Phoebs. But what about you?
Chandler: Yknow when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you dont, you dont do that every year do you?
CHANDLER: You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didnt disagree with you.
Joey: Sweepin. Why? Turn you on?
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Lady: So? What do you think?
Rachel: Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Phoebe: You didn't get the money, did you?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Monica: I'm so glad you liked them!
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?