words in movies
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
Rachel: No, you gotta pick one!
Rachel: You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma.
Phoebe: You know, I'm always right about these things.
Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you!
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
Monica: Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes.
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said?
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think?
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor?
Rachel: Are you serious?
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
Ross: (sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Joey: What the hell are you doin'?
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Rachel: Y’know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean!
Joey: Hey, don’t get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Rachel: Well y’know, I don’t want you to be cold.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Rachel: You can't move. You just... you just can't.
Joey: Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Monica: Well, there you go.
Joey: I'm really sorry you guys.
Ross: Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window.
Rachel: Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone.
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Joey: You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Chandler: Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but... We got the house.
Phoebe: Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes.
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didnt work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.
Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?
CHANDLER: You got a Cheeto on your face man.[Joey removes the Cheeto and eats it]
Joey: (to her) Youre a weird lady.
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Joey: (to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
Dr. Long: Thats right. But if you dont want to know
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Joey: If you want some privacy you can use my hole.
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Amy: You know.. this.. this is classic Rachel.
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
Phoebe: You just cant stand anyone else enjoying themselves cant you?
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Chandler: Uh, could you leave me one?
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Phoebe: (overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Ross: What? You do? You do? (Looks) Oh my God!
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
CHANDLER: I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
MRS. GELLER: Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him?
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Ross: I�m serious. C�mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Whitfield: But, you left the chair area.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Pete: I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever.
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhikers face), a rapist or a killer or something!
EDDIE: Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep.
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Rachel: (laughing) What are you saying?
Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
MNCA: Alright, here you go, sweetie. [hands Fun Bobby his coffee]
Joey: You really think so?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?