words in movies
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Are you all right?
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: You just said
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Chandler: Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Frank Sr.: Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Rachel: What are you gonna do Pheebs?
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Phoebe: Wait a second, or maybe you can go in first.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Ross: Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.?
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Monica: I warned you...
Monica: How do you know she's gonna start talking?
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Sebastian: Here you go. (Hands her, her cup.)
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Rachel: Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)
Ross: Will you-will you please?
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you�re right. I think � listen, listen!
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why dont we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why dont you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!
Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Joey: If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Joey: Hey listen, why dont you come downstairs with me? Theres some really nice girls down there.
Monica: Why do you want to see my hand?
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I�ll pee. (leaves)
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
EDDIE: Ok, you really want me out?
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Phoebe: Yeah! Youre such a great friend!
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: Dad seriously! Yknow you really should see someone about that!
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Dr. Green: No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter.
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Rick: (looking at her feet) Wow, you have really pretty feet.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Gene: You put this on a sandwich.
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Ross: Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....
MR. GREENE: ...and you sand it and you varnish it...
Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.
Chandler: I cannot believe you didnt pick me.