words in movies
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Ross: (on phone) I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit!
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Monica: Vomit tux? Who vomited ony'know what, what you up to Joe?
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish!
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Phoebe: Are you calling me selfish?!
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Phoebe: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.
Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
Ross: Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you.
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
Monica: But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.
Rachel: What-what-what are you gonna do?
Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Ross: Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?
Ross: Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out.
Ross: All right, did you just say all right?
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Monica: What?! You can'twhat did you tell her?
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Monica: No, you cannot.
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Monica: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!
Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Mindy: Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'???
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Cliff: Cant you figure that out based on my date of birth?
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Jill: Why are you so jealous of me?
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Chandler: You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?
Ross: You had fantasies about Emily?
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Rachel: Well, screw charity work. What've you got?
Joey: Well, that-that-thats it? Youre gonna, youre gonna put it on your self or anything?
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Katie: You'd better do something, or I'm gonna walk out that door right now! Well? Are you gonna?
Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
MNCA: Yes, I would like something. [looks at Fun Bobby, changes her mind] No, no thank you.
Rachel: Ugh. (To another customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? (Hands him the coffee pot.) Go ahead. (He does so.) Thank you. (To the gang.) Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Ross: That-thats always good news. Are you okay?
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Rachel: C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?
Joey: Now go! Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from youre secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.)
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
Kim: (at the door) Rachel? Do you smoke?
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
Ross: (shyly) You grow up.
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Phoebe: (leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture!
Monica: But Chandler lent you money!
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
MRS GREEN: If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Phoebe: Wow! Youre good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute?
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Katie: No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! (She punches him again and he retreats to the arm of the couch.)
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
RACH: We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys. [walks over to table, holding five empty wine bottles]
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?