words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: Chandler, Chandler, yknow what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Joey: You forget how many great songs Heart had.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Ross: Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
Gunther: (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Monica: No, thank you.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: You got it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Phoebe: Who said you were?
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Gunther: Okay, Ill see you in an hour.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Patron: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Monica: Yes, thank you so much. And again, were so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Ross: Do you feel better?
Joey: So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there?
Ross: that you actually
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Janine: Yknow, I know youre talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Aunt Millie: Hi sweetie! Are you leaving?
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Rachel: You. Like you havent done enough.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Tall Guy: God! What are you, in second grade?
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Stripper: So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Phoebe: Youre on!
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Phoebe: Fine! Youre on!
Ross: Excellent! Excellent, now-now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango card?
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger Ill be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinburg, youd never use that phrase.
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Rachel: Whoa, how do you know about that?
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Phoebe: Thank you!
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Monica: How are you doing?
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
RACHEL: Why the hell didn't you tell me!
Elizabeth: Do you know where the store is?
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
Jill: Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore!
Rachel: Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be...
Ross: Thank you.
Monica: Congratulations! Wow! I cant believe youre nominated for an Emmy!
Man: Thank you very much.
Rachel: How are you?
Charlie: Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else!
Chandler: But you said you were ready too.
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Rachel: Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?
Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Ross: Uh yes! Thank you.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Monica:: Honey look we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash.
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Mike: Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk?
Rachel: (stunned) You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?
Evil Bitch: Are you looking at her?!
Evil Bitch: You miss your girlfriend?
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Chandler: (laughs) Youre messy.
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Chandler: What are you doing tonight?