words in movies
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Thats the creep that youre with at the Statue of Liberty.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Monica: Chandler what do you say?
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: Hey, listen umm, what-what are you doing tonight?
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Yeah, umm thats Whitney (Points), Kyles ex-wife out there, now do you think that you can yknow divert her so that we can slip out?
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Phoebe: Youre still gonna go out with her?!
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Phoebe: You see? Nothing is good enough for her!
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean like old women?
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Monica: (seeing him approach) Hey! There you are!
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Tag: Uh-huh! Let me ask you something?
Tag: Do you believe that there is one perfect person for everyone?
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Kyle: Oh hey! Good, youre both here.
Phoebe: Both of you together?
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Joey: What's the thing you know?
Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too.
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
Kathy: No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book.
Joey: Huh. But still Ross, youre worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Yknow what I mean?
Chip: (on machine) Good runnin into you at the bank today, so ah, heres my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later.
Eric: Well I was just so excited to see you.
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.
CHANDLER: (on phone) What've you been up to?
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Phoebe: Hey! I got you a present!!
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
Chandler: You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred
Rachel: Oh, well okay. Well, there you go.
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
Rachel: (all mushy) Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else. I love you. (they hug)
Joey: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Ross: Why? Did you write it?
Joey: You look good.
Joey: You don't say.
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
PHOE: No, I felt it on my hip. You could tell.
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Rachel: You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
MONICA: Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency.
Monica: You have to go to London!
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
Joey: oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.
Monica: Have you guys picked a date yet?
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Ross: Rach, have you never done this before?
CHANDLER: You want some help.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
The Director: You ready to go?
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Ross: Do you have a point?
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Monica: Wait, you cant have the baby here! I mean I havent sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Ross: You had a rough day, uh?
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Joey: See you later, Gene.
Monica: Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does.
Chandler: How do you do that?
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Jill: You asked him too?!
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Rachel: Are you sure?
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.