words in movies
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Chandler: Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Rachel: (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Rachel: How come you are?!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how its going to work. Were gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Rachel: But Pheebs, yknow you earned it.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Phoebe: Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes.
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didnt work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.
Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?
CHANDLER: You got a Cheeto on your face man.[Joey removes the Cheeto and eats it]
Joey: (to her) Youre a weird lady.
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you.
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Joey: (to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
Joey: Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
Dr. Long: Thats right. But if you dont want to know
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Joey: If you want some privacy you can use my hole.
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Amy: You know.. this.. this is classic Rachel.
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
Phoebe: You just cant stand anyone else enjoying themselves cant you?
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Chandler: Uh, could you leave me one?
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Phoebe: (overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Ross: What? You do? You do? (Looks) Oh my God!
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
CHANDLER: I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
MRS. GELLER: Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him?
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Ross: I�m serious. C�mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Whitfield: But, you left the chair area.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Pete: I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever.
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhikers face), a rapist or a killer or something!
EDDIE: Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep.
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Rachel: (laughing) What are you saying?
Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
MNCA: Alright, here you go, sweetie. [hands Fun Bobby his coffee]
Joey: You really think so?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?