words in movies
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Woman at door: It's your favorite sister.
Rachel: Oh.. yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, <shakes head no> not the same thing.
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember?
Monica: well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me.
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Amy with straight hair: Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose?
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings?
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Gate attendant #1: Madame, you must have your boarding pass..
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Chandler: (To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
Joey: Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
Phoebe: Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom?
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Phoebe: How was your night?
Joey: Yeah. All right, now give me your best shot.
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Ross: Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed.
Laura: Your place is just lovely.
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Phoebe: You can open your eyes now.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Gate attendant #1: Your boarding pass, please.
Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. (Ross starts to take off his pants) What are you doing?
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Ross: See, I see.... big passion in your future.
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Receptionist: Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay.
Ross: Can you say Da-Da? See, Im gonna tell your mommies you said it anyway, so you might as well try
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)
Rachel: Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
MONICA: Is your tongue swelling up?
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Phoebe: (smiling) Maybe your scene's coming up?
Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.
Rachel: Oh wait, dont you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
MR. GREENE: Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place.
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this.
Chandler: But nothing has to happen until your ready.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
ROSS: Good morning. Hey pal, look who I brought. It's your old friend Harry Elefante. [Marcel grabs the elephant doll and throws it to the ground]
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!
Ross: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Ross: I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. (throws it in)
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Ross: It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this.
Chandler: Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone!
Ross: There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Commercial: (in the background their singing Smelly Cat) Problem odour in the litter box? Dont change your kitty, change your kitty litter.
Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Monica: You don't mind me touching your belly, do you?
Monica: Ok, so you've done some good work! (pause) What about your carry-ons?
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Nina: Oh, Net Usage Statistics, right. Gotcha, gotcha. Wont happen again. I wouldnt want to do anything to hurt your... "wenus."
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Chandler: Where's your passport?
Ross: Dude! You're not taking your Bible?
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.