words in movies
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Chandler: You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Joey: Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? (Chandler gives him a look like 'You stupid idiot!')
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Phoebe: Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky....
Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Joey: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Ross: I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down).
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Monica: Like a log.
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Bonnie: Okay, Ill see you in a bit.
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Rachel: Oh, youre welcome a million.
Bonnie: (to Rachel) Thanks a million.
Chandler: No, actually Lauries a boy.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, the-the three of us we were, kind of umm, a couple.
Chandler: I found a dried up seashores.
Joey: Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Dont you wanna stay here and talk about it?
Rachel: I wrote you a letter.
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
(A wave crashes on the beach and partially fills up his hole.)
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Joey: Yeah, and Im a little tired from digging the hole.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Monica: Nothing. Im gonna take a shower.
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: We were playing Gin? Y'know if we were a couple, we could play this game naked.
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Chip: (on machine) Good runnin into you at the bank today, so ah, heres my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Ross: Well, umm, why dont you give him a call?
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Rachel: Good! Cause Ive got a product report to read, its like eight pages, I hope I dont fall asleep.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Rachel: You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Tony: We dont have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? Weve got a canoe.
Rachel: (entering) You guys, youre never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! (Shes holding a flyer.) Look kinda familiar?
Chandler: Y'know, I, I really dont think we need a canoe.
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Chandler: She has a real name.
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Joey: I took a shot.
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Guy: All right, you have yourself a deal. (shakes his hand)
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Ross: No! No! LookHey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!