words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
(We hear a women start moaning.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
(She runs over and gives him a very passionate kiss.)
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Phoebe: She wasnt a hooker.
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Bass Singer: No one likes a buttmunch.
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
Rachel: I will wake you up in a way thats proved very popular in the past.
Phoebe: (entering, holding a pair of Roller Blades) Hi.
Rachel: I know. Im sorry. Look, Ill make a deal with you all right? Okay?
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Chandler: (to Robert) So ah, isnt a bit cold out for shorts?
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Robert: So um, is there a phone here, I can check my messages?
Phoebe: Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Ross: What a pity stay?
Chandler: You mean a three pointer?
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
ROSS: Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Rachel: Oh, its just like a bloodbath in here today.
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
Monica: Thats not true, you dont have a moustache.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang, except Rachel, is watching a new singer.]
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Phoebe: Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer.
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
Chandler: Jeez, man did you fall..(sees its a beautiful woman coming out of the mens room) Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high?
[Chandler starts to light a cigarette.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Mark is packing his stuff into a box.]
Rachel: Nooo, hes leaving for a better job.
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Phoebe: Oh. (takes her beeper puts in a pot, covers it, and puts the pot in the oven)
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Phoebe: You never run on a barge!
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
[Scene: A street, Chandler is kissing Ginger.]
Rachel: I dont know, you thought See you Saturday was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Monica: Y'know those are a delicacy in India.
Monica: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?
Leslie: What? Why not? You could make a ton of money.
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Phoebe: I..., a jingle? No, no-no-no, no.
(Ross wakes up with a start and startles Rachel. The guy next to him starts laughing, which starts Ross laughing, Rachel gives him a look and he stops.)
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
Ross: (entering) So I nodded off a little.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Ginger: Whats a nubbin?
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Phoebe: Ick-neck-tree-anis..... Theres a g in there.
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.