words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little nouse at the end?
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
(We hear a women start moaning.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Monica: Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.
Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?
[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.
Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
(They give each other a dubious look.)
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Joey: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce—transpondster!
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
Rachel: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...
Ross: What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Ross: (jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Monica: Do you have a plan?
Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)
Monica: Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?
Phoebe: And-and a power tie?
Pizza Guy: No, pretty much just a towel.
Rachel: (miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.
Phoebe: Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman.
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Joanne: Alright. Let's talk reality for a second.
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.
Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
David: Pivat!! (In a high pitched voice) Pivat!!!
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?
(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
Chandler: Not a one.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)
Ross: Look, it's just a little more complicated...
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Phoebe: Ok, have a good break-up.
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Chandler: Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Ross: (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Phoebe: It's like a gift.