words in movies
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Richard: So, you wanna get a hamburger or something?
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Rachel: I know. Im sorry. Look, Ill make a deal with you all right? Okay?
Rachel: I will wake you up in a way thats proved very popular in the past.
Phoebe: (entering, holding a pair of Roller Blades) Hi.
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Monica: Its not a date, okay. Im just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Chandler: (to Robert) So ah, isnt a bit cold out for shorts?
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
(Richard squishes a little too hard and some lands on his shirt.)
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
Ross: Umm, Jos a girl, its short for Josephine.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Chandler: No, actually Lauries a boy.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer.
Chandler: You mean a three pointer?
Robert: So um, is there a phone here, I can check my messages?
Phoebe: Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Richard: Oh shoot! Maybe next time. (yawns) Thanks for a lovely evening. (shows her out)
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Monica: Thats not true, you dont have a moustache.
Ross: Hey, wanna wanna a little cheering up?
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Ross: (exhales sarcastically) Not two years in a row.
Rachel: Please tell me youre not gonna dress up like a dinosaur.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date and Joey is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Rachel: And you are a very funny clown. (Gives him candy.)
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Monica: Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Eric: Arent you gonna give me a kiss?
Eric: Im an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Ross: Well, Im a spud
Mona: Wait-wait! Youre umm, youre a potato
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Ross: Oh Ill prove it! Ill prove it like a theorem!!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff?
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Boy in the Cape: Youre a mean old woman. (Runs away.)
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Eric: Oh right, youve got a church group meeting tonight.
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Ross: Yeah? Me too. (Pause) Gettin a little tired though.
Chandler: No way! If anything youve gotta let me win! My wife thinks Im a wimp!
Joey: (to her) Youre a weird lady.
Eric: (finds it) What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Monica: (laughs) Is that a secret or a lie.
Chandler: Listen, Ive got a secret for ya. I let him win.
Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Brenda: Ill be back in a minute.
Eric: Im sorry. I just when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Rachel: I do too a little bit.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Monica: Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on were a team! Were in this together!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.