words in movies
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Erica: Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Chandler: We're taking a break!
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Joey: You guys hear a ringing?
Chandler: (holding a pair of furry handcuffs) What the hell is this?
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second.
Monica: Come here, I'll make you a drink.
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Rachel: Can you come here with me for a minute?
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
Chandler: Mine was a humdinger
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Monica: And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that.
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Chandler: Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party.
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Monica: Okay, okay... Okay, I feel a little better.
(there's a lot of supportive cheers from all. Erica, Monica and Chandler leave.)
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Joey: A little more.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Monica: No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Cheryl: (looking in the bag) Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat.
Bank Officer: Okay, Ms. Lambert handles all our closures. (to a beautiful woman) Would you come over here please?
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
[From the background we hear a crash and Gunther comes running out of the back room, pushing people aside, reaching for Rachel.]
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Monica: You obviously havent screwed over a lot of your friends. (They all look at her) Which we all appreciate.
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I�m feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Op, y'know what though, its kindve a girlie briefcase.
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Tim: I moved back here a couple of months ago.
Tim: Uh. (He holds up a brown lunch bag.)
Tim: She-she wasnt ready for a serious commitment.
Monica: Like a pirate?!
Chandler: (He is now in the box, in their living room.) Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
Paul: A surfer.
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Tim: Hi. (gives her a bottle of wine)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Ross: Its a little early to be drinkin.
(A commercial for sunglasses comes on.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
(Theres a loud knocking.)
Monica: I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.)
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
(Rachel comes back carrying a shoe box.)
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Tim: You-you have a very beautiful eye.
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Monica: No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss
Chandler: You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?
Kathy: By being in a box?
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
Gunther: Oh, I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays.
Phoebe: All right, get a room.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? (In a girlish voice) I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. (Back to normal again) Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Rachel: God, I am so glad you dont have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldnt even consider applying.
Joey: Will you calm down, hes just a human guy.
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Mr. Posner: You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system.
CHAN: Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.