words in movies
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Joey: Im an actor, yknow? As-as a group, we tend to be over dramatic.
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
Rachel: Wow that was a big one.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Chandler: A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe!
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Phoebe: Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girls gotta eat.
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
Chandler: Whats wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? (Everyone stares at him.) On a barbecue chicken pizza? (Still theres staring.) No?
Monica: Oh, Id like a latte. Oh yknow what? If youre gonna talk about me, Im gonna go with you.
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Joey: Oh nowHey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something?
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Don: Well if you where ever enter the Loire valley let me know, Ive got a great little villa you can stay at.
Don: No. But God, a house made of cheese, wouldnt that be incredible?!
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Chandler: So you you dont want to live with Don in a cheese house?
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are having dinner.]
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Joey: Actually uh, could you give us a second?
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Rachel: Yeah, that was a real good one.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Chandler: Yes! Im fine. In fact Ive been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
Rachel: Why would a charity give away a free boat?!
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Rachel: Well-well a little blind sided but yknow good.
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
[Scene: A Pizza Joint, Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Monica: Do you really see this as a long-term thing?
Phoebe: You mean a backup?
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Joey: Chandler giving you a hard time huh?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Monica: Yeah, Ill have a scotch
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
Ross: (picking up a book) Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
Chandler: Oh my God, I cant believe this! Yknow, I thought I thought you were a good guy.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
Chandler: Yknow Richard you are a good guy.
Chandler: Well why didnt you stop her?! Why didnt you just tell her it was a plan?!
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
(Everyone screams and has a group hug.)
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Rachel: Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
(A brief silence ensues.)
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
A Woman: Here he comes! Hurry!
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Rachel: I dont know, yknow? I feel a little umm No, yknow what? Nevermind, Im gonna be fine.
Rachel: Yeah, just give me a minute! (Thinking) Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing.
Ross: I meanno, its just cause, its just cause you and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.
Ross: Oh good, you scared me for a minute.
Ross: A what?
Ross: Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, Im-Im sure it would be amazing but I gotta say I really-really dont think it would be a good idea. Yknow? I really, really dont.
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...
Monica: (To Rachel) Hey! Dont be a baby!
Joey: When? Today? Some, not a lot.
Chandler: Uhh, youve had a lot of sex right?
Monica: (interrupting) Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight?
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
Ross: (thinking) Oh. (Pause) Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second!
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)