words in movies
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.) You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home.
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
Rachel: Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this?
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Monica: You're a pig. And you can't do this.
Rachel: There is a hardware store right down the street?
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Monica: Is that a bit you guys do?
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! Ah........ Perfection. (kisses monica) Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
Monica: It's kind of a package deal!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Chandler: Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Monica: We're all sorry... (They have a group hug)
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Joey: Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a little dance step on the way.)
Monica: Yes you did! You did like a little hop.
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Phoebe: Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. (hears the sound of approaching sirens) Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here!
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.
[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Monica: Wow! A lipper from Chipper.
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Mr. Treeger:: Right. (Starts to leave) Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a girlfriend.
Mr. Treeger:: Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, (checks watch). Oh my God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball.
Interviewer: Okay, well give a call if anything comes up.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Kathy: With a K.
Chandler: Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.
Ross: No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account.
Chandler: Uh Kathy, with K or a C?
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Kathy: No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher.
ROSS: Wha--? Whoa, hey, I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative--there's gonna be a hoopla?
Ross: Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!
Rachel: Okay. (He starts to leave, and Rachel grabs him and gives him a passionate kiss.) I'll miss you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to Dr. Baldhara, a zookeeper.]
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Rachel: I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Amanda: I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month.
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
Chandler: Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me straight through the week.
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
Rachel: Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Kathy: Okay. Understanding a little more why you're single. Ohh! Y'know, I have a friend you would like, she's really pretty. And then we could double date!
Chandler: Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little.
Ross: You see Amanda and I have a very special...
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Rachel: Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian.
Rachel: Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! (Shows her, her ring)
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
(Gunther walks away, leaving Rachel with a `What just happened?' look on her face.)
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Ross: Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era.
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Rachel: Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what?
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Cheryl: My hamster. I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
[Scene: A kitchen where Phoebe and Monica are finishing up a catering job]
Phoebe: Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank.
Cheryl: Okay, um, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kinda has a weird smell.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
Phoebe: Oh, look what we almost left. (Picks up a coffee maker)
Rachel: You know what we should all do? Go see a musical.
Chandler: A pen.
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Ross: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?