words in movies
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Monica: Shut up! This place is a hole!
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
(Yep, its a little gold loop.)
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Monica: Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game?
Chandler: Uhh, a T-shirt that says, "I dont belong here."
Monica: Have you even had a girl up here?
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Chandler: Because youve only known her for six weeks! Okay, Ive got a carton of milk in my fridge Ive had a longer relationship with!
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, ooh, oohoh, I have a game!
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
(He looks to Chandler, who doesnt have a clue.)
Monica: Thats not even a game!
Monica: You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high card wins. What do you say?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Monica: Okay. (She picks a card.) Four.
Chandler: Thats a low one!
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I cant.
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Joey: Uh-huh, not as high as (picks a card) It worked! King!
Ross: Well, so, you-youll get a job here! I mean, Im always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you!
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Emily: Ohh, its a bit small.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Chandler: Oh. Oh, God! (He starts running around like a chicken with his head cut off.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Rachel: All right. We figured you might respond this way, so we have a backup offer.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Emily: I mean, we know its a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Rachel: You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit The Frog and The Six Million Dollar Man.
Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
(They start smacking each other's cups, but Phoebe notices a security guard approaching.)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Chip: Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Rachel: Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Ross: Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.
A Crew Member: Take 36 is up!
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Janine: ...and live forever as a machine!
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
MNCA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. [Reads from paper] In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... continued on page 153...[turns it] sucking.
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Joey: Im a man.
Chandler: Yes talk to her. Be a man.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren.
Monica: You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chips motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Phoebe: (Hugging her again.) Youve lasted a whole year. Good for you.
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Phoebe: Yeah a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Janine: Well, Im sorry. I just thought Id try to make the place a little nicer.
Gary: It's a witness not a perp. And no one talks like that!
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Monica: Im just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. Youre right, Im sorry.
Hillary: You know, youre a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
Kim: Yeah, nothing happen. You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Hillary: Ive probably been talking too much. Why dont we talk about you a little bit?
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Chandler: Youre turning into a women.
Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Phoebe: Just for a second.
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Hillary: Maybe Ill just turn the lights down a little.
Hillary: Whats a matter with you?
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Joey: And a couple of these little tiny boxes.
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
MONICA: Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
MONICA: Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you.