words in movies
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you?
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Monica: This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to! (leaves)
Rachel: Oh... what an interesting name.
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
(An awkward silence follows.)
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Kate: What? So you never went out with an actress before?
Kate: Flights in an hour. I-I gotta go.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
Monica: (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
(Chandler gets an idea)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
Monica: You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!
Rick: Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
(The interviewer watches her leave with an Oh my goodness face.)
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Phoebe: Oh, theres no such thing as an innocent burger.
Chandler: No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with his eyes)
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Tim: Youre an excellent patient!
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
(an awkward silence follows)
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: And an assistant.
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Kate: Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. Gnight.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Rachel: Gimme an L!
Rachel: Gimme an M!
Rachel: Gimme an I!
(An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hair-do's and clothes)
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Emily: Oh, blimey, I still cant believe youve got an earring!
Chandler: No. No. Were not gonna do that, yknow why? Because its not an even trade.
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that!
Rachel: Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! (Runs into the living room) Ready! Okay! Gimme an E!
Chandler: (laughing) You did look like an idiot.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
Emily: So what did he decide? Does your Uncle Nathan get an invite or not?
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
(An embarrassed silence... finally broken by)
Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachels coming to London.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]