words in movies
Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Rachel: (in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Ross: Huh. Thats a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Alice: Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that theres an age difference between us.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
(An awkward silence follows.)
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Kate: What? So you never went out with an actress before?
Kate: Flights in an hour. I-I gotta go.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
Monica: (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
(Chandler gets an idea)
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
(The interviewer watches her leave with an Oh my goodness face.)
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Rick: Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?!
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Phoebe: Oh, theres no such thing as an innocent burger.
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Chandler: No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with his eyes)
Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Tim: Youre an excellent patient!
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
(an awkward silence follows)
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Rachel: And an assistant.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Kate: Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. Gnight.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
Ross: Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or somethingor should I call it (In an English accent) football?
Rachel: Gimme an M!
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Rachel: Gimme an L!
Rachel: Gimme an I!