words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Rachel: Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Mr. Treeger:: And tell him what?
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Chandler: No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts!
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Ross: No! And Im not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Joey: No you cant do that, where would the chick and the duck live?
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
(Chandler and Ross enter)
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Phoebe: No, I know! I-Im sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
Monica: Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when Im doing something exciting and I dont wanna get too excited, I just ahh, yknow try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a little dance step on the way.)
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Ross: No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account.
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: (running after bus) Ben! Ben! Ben!
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Rachel: UCHH! <much louder and longer then Amy's>
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
PHOEBE: Yeah, much better. And you know what, don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is sitting at the couches, Chandler enters.]
MNCA: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you.
MNCA: Five more and I'll flash you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
CHAN: And we're changing. [jogs back in his apartment]
CHAN: Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
JOEY: He-he-eyy. [Shakes his had and passes the dollar]
(Joey lunges for phone and misses.)
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
PHOE: Look, I, y'know, I don't mind taking it slow, I like him a lot, y'know he's really interesting and he's really sweet and why won't he give it up?
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
[Ross and Julie enter.]
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
RACH: That's just great. [she picks up her champagne and starts drinking]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
CHAN: One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them.
JOEY: And?
PHOE: So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch today and I did.
PHOE: And we did.
JOEY: And what did he say?
PHOE: Well, I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on.
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
ROSS: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
RACH: Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point?
[Rachel gets up and opens the door, yelling after him.]
RACH: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
RACH: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
MNCA: We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
[She tastes it, and obviously hates it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
[Ross and Rachel hug.]
[Chandler enters with his hair full of mousse and a cheesy moustache]
CHANDLER: Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish! The Blowfish!
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
[Rachel leaves, and Ross follows her into the hall.]
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
[She goes into her apartment and slams the door.]
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
[Rachel closes the drapes over the window, goes into her bedroom and closes the door.]
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
ROSS: Julie. Julie. That. Oh God. Julie, right. OK, I need to lie down. No, ya know, I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna walk, I'm walkin' and I am standing. OK so you uh, and now wha... and now, now, now you're over me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
[Rachel seems touched. She pauses for a moment, then picks up the phone and starts to dial. Cut to Ross at his apartment.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
[Chandler and Joey enter.]
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?