words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Rachel: Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Mr. Treeger:: And tell him what?
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Chandler: No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts!
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Ross: No! And Im not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Joey: No you cant do that, where would the chick and the duck live?
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
(Chandler and Ross enter)
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Phoebe: No, I know! I-Im sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
Monica: Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract yourself.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when Im doing something exciting and I dont wanna get too excited, I just ahh, yknow try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a little dance step on the way.)
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Ross: No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account.
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Scenes Taken From Episodes Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips, guineapig, Ruth Curran, Josh Hodge, and Me.
Monica: And?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what shes eating.]
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
[And with that we go into the save the budget portion of the show, which features flashbacks from previous episodes. The first set of auditions feature high lights or low lights of Joeys acting career. The first flashback is from The One With The Lesbian Wedding.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Rachel: Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Rachel: Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!?
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Rachel: we went back the house and we got really silly and we we made out.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Monica: Between you and
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Monica: A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants.
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Melissa: Aww, look whos being suddenly shy. You cant tell me you dont feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)
Rachel: And?
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]