words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.]
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
(All others are looking up, surprised)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Monica: What are you doing here?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Monica: How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Chloe: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Mischa: (leaning in) Your eyes are very pretty.
Lecturer: ....oversized bracelets, oversized earrings, oversizing of accessories in general are very popular now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Rachel: (startled) Oh!! My God, what are you doing here?
Ross: Okay, you are totally making this up.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Chandler: So, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Mark: Rach, are you okay?
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are watching a Miracle Wax info-mercial.]
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Chloe: What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Chloe: Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Issac: Yeah, we are.
Issac: Yeah, we are.
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Issac: But, we are.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Carol: Hey, what are you doing here?
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
Rachel: Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
Ross: Pheebs? What, why are you whispering?
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
Rachel: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
Monica: I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her?
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]
Phoebe: What are you doing here?
Frank: How are you?
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Ross: And so now you guys are gonna be married?
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Rachel: Well, that shouldnt be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are entering.]
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?
Chandler: (to the girls who are staring at him) What?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Alice: You are so precious, I could just take you home.
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Frank: Are you serious?
Monica: What are you doing?
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Pete and Monica are returning from their date.]
Kate: Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins?
Phoebe: What, so what are you gonna tell him?
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing for the play.]
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Pete: Where are we?
[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Rachel: Yes. (Pause) Youre not asking are you?
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Chandler: Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?