words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Chandler: So, what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Gary: Hey Chandler, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Gary: Chandler, what-what are you doing?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? (Rachel's arms are covered with scratches.)
Chandler: He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Gary: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Melissa: Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?
Melissa: Oh shut up more! Now, are you friends with Ralph?
Dina: What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Rachel: Are you kidding?!
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Chandler: Who are those people?
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Helena: (standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?
Helena: Monica! Where are you from?
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Rachel: Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser!
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Chandler: During this time are you, are you still my best man?
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Phoebe: What are they?
Chandler: So are we friends again?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the girls are having breakfast.]
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!
Melissa: (excitedly) Are you?!
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are discussing the note.]
The Assistant Director: You are now.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
Joey: Yes you are!
Joey: Are you drunk?
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!