words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Chandler: So, what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Gary: Hey Chandler, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Gary: Chandler, what-what are you doing?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? (Rachel's arms are covered with scratches.)
Chandler: He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Gary: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing for the play.]
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Pete: Where are we?
[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Rachel: Yes. (Pause) Youre not asking are you?
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Chandler: Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Kate: Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh?
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
Monica: Boy, you are really not a morning person.
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Phoebe: Oh my God, are you guys okay?
Gunther: Are you all right?
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Ross: Four hundred, huh? Well, that sounds do-able. (starts to get out his wallet) How much are the boxes?
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Joey: Are you sure?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Joey: Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Joey: Hey! Are you okay?
Kate: (drunk) So you really think those newspapers are just jealous of me?
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Lauren: (whispering) Tonight. What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Lauren: (yelling from onstage) Where are you Vic?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are playing with the duck and the chick.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off, and let's see what we're dealing with here. (Ross starts to take off his pants) What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Monica: Are you scared?
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Monica: So then, are you going to dump Jason?
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
[Scene: Petes apartment, Pete and Monica are coming back from a date.]
Monica: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Joey: Yeah. What are we getting?
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight?
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
[Scene: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.]
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.]
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Monica: You are insane! You-you gotta give this up!
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Phoebe: No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks.
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
Monica: What are you crazy?!