words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Chandler: So, what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Gary: Hey Chandler, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Gary: Chandler, what-what are you doing?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Monica: You have scratches all over you, what happened? (Rachel's arms are covered with scratches.)
Chandler: He's a great guy, y'know? And he loves you a lot, you are a very lucky lady.
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Gary: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Rachel: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Chandler: I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch-(realizes)-have a perfect, magical weekend together with you.
Monica: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! (They all leave and close the door on Monica.) Ohhh! (Throws her notepad down in disgust.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
Chandler: Yeah, we are so sorry.
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
Ross: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
Ross: What are you talking about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Emily: I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time.
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Monica: (To Monica) Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: You are?
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?!
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Chandler: We are bad people.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Phoebe: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
Chandler: What are we gonna do?
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Chandler: Are you all right?
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Ross: Why are they here?
Rachel: All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Monica: We are! Help us!
Rachel: What are you reading?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Chandler: The British are coming?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: So Pheebs, where are you doing all, your bell ringing?
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
Danny: Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances.
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
[Scene: Outside Danny's apartment, Danny and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Krista: You are! (Hits him harder this time.)
Krista: You are! (Hits him softly.)
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
Danny: You are so dead! I'm gonna get you.
Krista: You are so bad! (Hits him softly.)
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Larry are having dinner.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Danny: Are you close with them?
Rachel: Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick!
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Ross: What are you, what are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?