words in movies
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
[Scene: Central Perk, the cast of Friends along with Conan OBrien are sitting and talking.]
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Jennifer: Are you okay?
Monica: What are you doing?!
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene where Monicas sick.]
Chandler: What are you guys doing?
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Monica: Oh what are doing?!
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
[Scene: A hallway, Monica and Dan are talking.]
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
Phoebe: Are you calling me selfish?!
(They are standing on either side of Chandler as they discuss the point. Chandler, meanwhile, is disgusted with the whole argument.)
Joey: That's because all people are selfish.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Rachel: What-what-what are you gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Rachel: He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, "Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The girls are talking with the firemen.]
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Joey: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Phoebe: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.
Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. Its My Giant!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Chandler: Why are you screaming and hugging?
Monica: Hey, Joey's ass! What are you doing?
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
Ross: What are you doing?
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Rachel: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Chandler: I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch-(realizes)-have a perfect, magical weekend together with you.
Monica: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! (They all leave and close the door on Monica.) Ohhh! (Throws her notepad down in disgust.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
Chandler: Yeah, we are so sorry.
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
Ross: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
Ross: What are you talking about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Emily: I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time.
Chandler: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Chandler: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Monica: (To Monica) Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: You are?
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?!
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Chandler: We are bad people.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Phoebe: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
Chandler: What are we gonna do?
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Chandler: Are you all right?
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Ross: Why are they here?
Rachel: All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Monica: We are! Help us!
Rachel: What are you reading?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Monica: Ross, are you okay?