words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Monica: Wh-what are we gonna tell him?
Rachel: What are you gonna do Pheebs?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Joey: Well, these really are the days of our lives.
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
Ross: Uhh, those are tacos.
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are still discussing Bobby and Dinas situation.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Rachel: So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are relaxing in sexual bliss.]
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe, back to reality, are sitting in normal clothes.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
[Scene: A restaurant. Fun Bobby and Monica are ordering.]
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
Chandler: Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. (Makes kiss noise)
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
[Scene: The beachhouse, Ross and Rachel are argueing about the breakup.]
Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
Ross: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!
Ross: We are a rare breed.
[Scene: Outside the restaurant, Melissa, Phoebe, and Rachel are emerging.]
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Rachel: Oh! Well lets look for them. (Finds some under one of the couch cushions. It has a pink, fuzzy ball on the key chain.) Oh-oh-hey! Are these them?
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401-Ks to me?
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Monica: No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Rachel: (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So umm, how-how are we gonna mess with them?
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Chandler: Ahh, Gepeto, $5,000 dollars? Are you insane?
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
Sarah: Could you pull open the curtains for me? The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news, and since we dont have a TV, the lady across the alley said shed push hers up to a window, so I could watch it.
Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Tommy: Hot coffee!!! You idiot!! You were gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh?!! What are you just some big, dumb, stupid, doofy idiot, with a doofy idiot hairdo, huh?! Huh?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Monica: Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when theyre hungry.
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Chandler: (to Joey) You are really frightening me.
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Joey: You are dogged man! I totally fit!
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Trudie Styler: Are you here for tickets?
Ross: Well l-look okay, its probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail.
[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?