words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Chandler: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Danny: Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances.
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
Chandler: Yeah, we are so sorry.
Ross: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
Ross: What are you talking about?
Emily: I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time.
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are entering.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]
Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Phoebe: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Monica: But you are?
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Melissa: Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?
Melissa: Oh shut up more! Now, are you friends with Ralph?
Dina: What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Chandler: Yeah, I know what youre thinkin! Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when theyre done with them they just send em back.
Chandler: Are you serious?
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Rachel: Are you kidding?!
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Chandler: Who are those people?
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Helena: (standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?
Helena: Monica! Where are you from?
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Rachel: Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser!
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.