words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Chandler: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Danny: Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances.
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
Chandler: Yeah, we are so sorry.
Ross: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
Ross: What are you talking about?
Emily: I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time.
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Phoebe: No that's just me coughing! (Doing some weird coughing noises and the dog barks again. Phoebe comes out of the room.) Oh, good, there you are! Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....
Chandler: Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!
Phoebe: No-no, its okay. But are we sure we dont want the waterbed?
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Rachel: Oh but you could. You can. Absolutely! We can help each other out! We can get--what are those--those patches! We could be like the Patch Sisters!
Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Phoebe: Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though.
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
[Scene: Beatrice Bridal Shop, Monica and Phoebe are there to pick up Emilys dress.]
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Monica: (entering, to herself) Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Rachel: Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
Ross: What are you doing?
Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry..
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
Chandler: What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.
Monica: I cant do that either! The soles are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood.
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Joey are kicking a can to each other.]
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Joanne: When are you coming home?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are watching the game.]
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, the guys are trying to find their seats.]
Phoebe: You are just like Jack.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Ross: What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Rachel: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
[Scene: Central Perk, all are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
[Scene: Central Perk, all six are there.]
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?