words in movies
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Lets discuss it before we reject it completely."
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Monica: You see that guy? Hes in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave hes going straight to the porn.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
RACH: Oh yeah, c'mon, I'm movin' on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, hes watching TV and eating some popcorn as the phone rings.]
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Janine: ...and live forever as a machine!
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Phoebe: Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, yknow, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Ross: Chandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Joey: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
(They move towards a platform, dancing really strangely as they go)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is playing that string game with the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with the mail.]
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Joey: No, no, no! My talents as an actor!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Jill: Oh great! (Goes to get it as the phone rings.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is eating breakfast as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. Shes wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)
(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is making a sandwich as Chandler enters.]