words in movies
(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shops signa large steaming cup of coffee.)
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh...
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
(Marcel points the remote at Monicas television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish.)
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
Ross: (looking at the remote) How did he do this?
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
(Jamie notices Phoebe sitting at the counter.)
Jamie: This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home.
Fran: Think she got fired at Riffs?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Mr. Douglas: (Shutting the door, then pointing vaguely at Ninas shapely departure) Shes still here.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
(Both women gulp in air. Ross looks at his "football," then manipulates the head & limbs back into place, until it resembles what it represents.)
(Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.)
Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this.
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Chandler: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
(Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.)
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Joey: (pointing at himself) Celebrity.
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?
Ross: (Gasps and speaks at a higher pitch) This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
(Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end)
Chandler: Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back.
Joey: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.
Ross: We're still going at the game, right?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Joey: (looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.
Phoebe: Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani!
Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Joey: You are not at Thanksgiving?
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Chandler: He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! (They both look away)
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)
Ross: (looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)
Joey: I left them at the park.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartement, Monica is at the kitchen table writing something and Chandler enters kitchen area]
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
(Chandler can't believe what he's hearing. He looks at Monica, then at the others, then back at Monica.)
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...