words in movies
(They all start laughing at him)
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Chandler: Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Monica: Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Chandler: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
(Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.)
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people?
Joey: (pointing at himself) Celebrity.
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?
Ross: (Gasps and speaks at a higher pitch) This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
(Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end)
Chandler: Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back.
Joey: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.
Ross: We're still going at the game, right?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Joey: (looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.
Phoebe: Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani!
Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Joey: You are not at Thanksgiving?
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Chandler: He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! (They both look away)
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)
Ross: (looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)
Joey: I left them at the park.
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
(Chandler can't believe what he's hearing. He looks at Monica, then at the others, then back at Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartement, Monica is at the kitchen table writing something and Chandler enters kitchen area]
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! (she picks up a blue sweater). I mean, this is just beautiful!
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
[Scene: Back at the restaurant with Joey and Sarah. Joey is holding Sarah's hands]