words in movies
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great!
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Doctor Connelly: Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor.
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
Chandler: Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"!
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!
Rachel: Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard!
Stranger: Just be honest with her.
Ross: It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep!
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
David: Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done.
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Monica: (excitedly) Oh my God, we're gonna be parents!
Chandler: We are gonna be great parents.
Monica: And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there (they go look through the window) our baby could be being conceived.
Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
MONICA: Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there.
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Joey: Im an actor, yknow? As-as a group, we tend to be over dramatic.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Joey: Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be!
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Ross: Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, Im gonna be out with her all night.
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Monica: You be okay?
MONICA: Oh, because, um . . .� well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days.� So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
Monica: Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated.
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.
Rachel: Oh please, hell be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Joey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
Monica: ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Janice: Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Rachel: Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?