words in movies
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Chandler: (Answering the phone at work) Hello, Chandler Bing.
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Chandler: Yes! Chandler Bing, 7! Chandler Bing, 0.
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Doug: Bing!
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Doug: The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Chandler: (on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groomNo! Not the groom!!
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Mr. Bing: (entering) Hello all!
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Mr. Franklin: Youre a joker Bing. (Walks away.)
Rachel: (thinks then gasps) Chandler M. Bing?
Mr. Franklin: Wow Bing! Burning the midnight oil.
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing youll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing youll be in 25K.
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Doug: Bing! Were all set for tonight, 8 oclock.
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Joey: You-you must choose Mr. Bing.
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Bing, what an unusual name.
Janice: Chandler Bing!
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Chandler: Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.
Joey: Chandler Bing.
CHANDLER: Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation.
Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from?
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Doug: Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Mrs. Bing: Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Phoebe: You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Mr. Bing: Nora!
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)