words in movies
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
PHOEBE: Okay, ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Joey: Spocks birth control.
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, its right after she told Phoebe that shes her birth mother.]
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Phoebe: My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.
[Scene: Joey's room, he is recovering from his birth.]
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Phoebe: You have your birth certificate?
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Cliff: Cant you figure that out based on my date of birth?
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Mrs. Geller: I actually needed to talk to you before the birth.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is finally giving birth.]
Joey: Date of birth?
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
(Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.)
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
Phoebe: Okay, well umm, I know that we havent talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom.
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
[Cut to Chandler sitting down near Joey as his mom walks over. His birth mother, not the mother who recently visited one of those clinics in Sweden.]
Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life!
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.