words in movies
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
(They both go out into the hall.)
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Rachel and Monica: Ohh! (both grab there stomachs in pain)
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
(Long pause as they both look at each other.)
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Both: Marcel?
Luisa: You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.
Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.
Barry: Both of you?
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
(Both women gulp in air. Ross looks at his "football," then manipulates the head & limbs back into place, until it resembles what it represents.)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Phoebe: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
[They both step out into the hall.]
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
RACH: Both of you?
MNCA: You and me both.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
BOTH: Oh, ohhhhh.
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Ross: And it works both ways.
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
(they both start up the stairs.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
(They both look at each other for a while)
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.