words in movies
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
(They both go out into the hall.)
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
(they both start up the stairs.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
(They both look at each other for a while)
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Both: (screaming with excitement) Aah!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
(They both confer.)
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(They both shiver in horror.)
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Frank: Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Both: Three.
(They both move to kiss again.)
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
(They both sit back down.)
(They both run and hug theyre respective partners.)
(They both hug.)
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Both: Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here!
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
(They both turn and wipe their eyes.)
Emily: I love both of you!
Both: All right!
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug)
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
(They both kiss.)
(They both go to her apartment.)
Chandler: (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)