words in movies
CHAN: Oh, you know, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying around time.
CHAN: Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home.
PHOE: Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. [hugs Chandler but holds her hands apart behind his back] Oh, can't make.... hands... meet....
RACH: Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look?
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
RACH: Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend.
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
ROSS: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys.
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Chandler: But you come first!
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic.
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings)
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end...
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Monica: But then how do we know who wins?
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen!
Rachel: But why, why not?
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Chandler: But...
Monica: But... you suck!
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.
Joey's voice, but she sees Ross: Seriously... What is it?
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Phoebe: Mon', not that you didn�t sound good, but...
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Rachel: Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again.
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
Rachel: No, but you know what I mean.
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Rachel: I say ‘cheesy line’, but ok.
Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.
Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed!
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
(They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely)
(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where Id be your best shot but, no. Im sorry, but I think its twisted.
Rachel: Oh no, it's still nap time. But she'll be up soon.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Joey: But equally real!
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom.
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
Chandler: Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party...
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.