words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-huh.... but I'm hoping (gestures) huh-huh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
Monica: Well... of course I thought of you! But... but...
Rachel: But, but?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
Steve: I was just being polite, but, alright.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Rachel: Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler?
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
Joey/Drake: Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question...
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
Phoebe: But what?
Monica: You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but...
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Joey: but, but..
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Gavin: But it was a deap meaningful relationship.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Joey: No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window)
(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)
Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones!
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Joey: You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people!
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Rachel: But I am going hunting!!
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Chandler: But you come first!
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic.
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings)
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end...
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Monica: But then how do we know who wins?
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Rachel: But why, why not?
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen!
Chandler: But...
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!