words in movies
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
(Joey makes a frustrated face and noise and walks away. He knocks on the next door and it's answered by an old man.)
Joey: Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
Tag: I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch by guys.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Written by: Seth Kirkland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?
Written by: Greg Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
Chandler: Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Written by: Wil Calhoun & Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Scott Silveri & Shana Goldnerg-Meehan. Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
Teleplay by: Wil Calhoun Story by: Andrew Reich and Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Story by: Adam Chase Teleplay by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Teleplay by: Michael Curtis Story by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
(They kiss but are interrupted by a knock on the door.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Mr. Waltham: (walking by) Yes.
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Written by: Mark Kunerth Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Ross: Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now?
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Monica: Honey, sweetie, by the edges.
Chandler: Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)
Chandler: Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.
Part I Written by: Michael Borkow Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Part I Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Part II Transcribed by: Aaron D. Miller
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Written by: Michael Curtis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Written by: Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Kathy: By being in a box?
(Suddenly Ross jumps up from behind the counter armed with a plastic gun. By the way, hes overacting too.)
Monica: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica's restaurant, she is getting inspected by the health department, Phoebe is watching.]
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: You walked around all night in the city by yourself?
Teleplay by: Seth Kirkland Story by: Michael Curtis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Alicia Sky Varinaitis Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Directed by: Ben Weiss Written by: Mark Kunerth Transcript by: David Buehrle
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)