words in movies
Teleplay by: Wil Calhoun Story by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Chandler: How much did I love The King and I? (Oh, you get the point by now.)
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
Monica: All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Originally written by Michael Borkow Transcribed by Josh Hodge
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Ross: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
Story by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Teleplay by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Mikael Hedberg
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
Originally written by Jeffrey Astroff and Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan SIlverstein.
Originally written by Doty Abrams Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
Written by: Brian Boyle Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Originally written by Alexa Junge. Trascribed by Josh Hodge.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Originally written by ???.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
[Joey's. Playing ping pong by himself.]
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
Originally written by .
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Originally written by .
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
JOEY: By someone besides Monica?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
Originally written by Alexa Junge.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Originally written by Brown Mandell.
Transcribed by Marita Bakken
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Written by: Michael Curtis and Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
ROSS: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
(An embarrassed silence... finally broken by)
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Written by: Brian Boyle Transcribed by: Samantha Stein
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
(Monica throws the ball over Joeys head, its stopped from rolling away by a very beautiful woman.)
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Written by: Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Written by: Adam Chase Transcribed by: Eric Aasen