words in movies
Part I Written by: Greg Malins Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Written by: Bill Lawrence Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Originally written by Michael Borkow Transcribed by Josh Hodge
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Ross: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
Story by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Teleplay by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Mikael Hedberg
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
Originally written by Jeffrey Astroff and Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan SIlverstein.
Originally written by Doty Abrams Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
Written by: Brian Boyle Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Originally written by Alexa Junge. Trascribed by Josh Hodge.
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
[Joey's. Playing ping pong by himself.]
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
Originally written by ???.
Originally written by .
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
Originally written by Alexa Junge.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
Originally written by .
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
JOEY: By someone besides Monica?
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Originally written by Brown Mandell.
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
Transcribed by Marita Bakken
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
ROSS: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
Written by: Michael Curtis and Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Chandler: Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Wil Calhoun Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Seth Kurland Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
(Monica throws the ball over Joeys head, its stopped from rolling away by a very beautiful woman.)
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
(An embarrassed silence... finally broken by)
Written by: Brian Boyle Transcribed by: Samantha Stein
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Written by: Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Written by: Alexa Junge Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)