words in movies
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Ross: Fine, she can stay at my place. By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now.
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Chandler: (totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!
Monica: I cant promise anything. (She starts to dig in.)
Rachel: Wow! I cant, I cant feel my hands.
Chandler: We cant do this.
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Rachel: (groans) Oh God. Oh I cant believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Chandler: I bet he can.
Monica: Oh I cant. Dr. Roger is coming over again.
Monica: And then were gonna have a little Middle Eastern cous-cous. Something we can eat, with our hands.
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Phoebe: Now, we can kick anybodys ass!
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
Joey: You cant make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Rachel: see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
Joey: Oh, cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, theres your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
Monica: (pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Elizabeth: Uhh, I cant.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Monica: Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance!
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Ross: I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Sebastian: Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Ross: Okay, she cant go.
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Chandler: I cant believe I did this! What an idiot!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Joey: I cant believe this Chandler!
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didnt I?
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Chandler: Oh Im so sorry man! Is there anything I can do?
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Ross: Well, y'know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking-
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Female Clerk: Can I help you?
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Monica: I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I cant find him anywhere!
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Paul: Cant complain.
Ross: I cant think of anything.