words in movies
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Carol: Can I ask whatCome on in.
Carol: Umm uh, Ill make some coffee and we can uh, chat.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!
Carol: Whats not funny?
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Carol: (straining) Not.... helping!
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Carol: (irked) Where have you been?
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Carol: I was gonna say
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Carol: Yes!
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Carol: Hey, Ben! Hey!
Carol: Hey! Hows Ben?
Carol: Oh my God, you are so paranoid!
Carol: Maybe.
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Carol: Thanks. (Exits.)
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg.
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Carol: Like what?
Carol: (quickly) I love that idea!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Carol: Oh umm, yknow I think it would be better if we just save it.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Carol: Oh, me too.
Carol: Looks like it.
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Carol: Thank you so much.
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
The Teacher: Ive only met your partner Carol.
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Carol: -if it's a boy, Minnie if it's a girl.